Don't Believe the Hype: Nestor Reserve Maduro

Review of Nestor Reserve Maduro Torpedo:

Recently I was able to get my greedy hands on a five-pack of Nestor Reserve Maduro torpedos for only 7 bucks in an online auction. Good thing too, because they're not worth a penny more.

The creative marketers at Cigars International certainly hype up these black beauties, using enticing phrases such as "chocolate thunder" and "rated 93 by Cigar Aficionado." Well, how long ago was that? 1998? And which size was it? Funny how the distributors are always vague about that, as if every size in the whole darned line won the super rating. Could you tell us, please? Pretty please? Cause this Nestor torpedo sure as hell doesn't rate a 93 today.

My first concern was that despite their enormous size, these torpedos weigh little more than a feather. Sometimes that's a good sign, as with Padrons, but usually it just means you're in for a cheap ride.

And cheap it was: I couldn't get this thing to light straight, and it never evened out. The smoke was ample and billowy, but had a nondescript taste. To paraphrase the late Lloyd Bentsen, I know chocolate. I've eaten chocolate. I'm friends with chocolate. And you, son, don't taste like chocolate.

But then again, what cigar ever does? I wish reviewers would quit using the word chocolate and come up with something more accurate like "dark, billowy, burnt-toasty flavor." That's about what it comes down to. Some people actually like burned toast. Why not let them know about it?

For a cheap cigar, the Nestor Reserve Maduro Torpedo is fine if you're doing something else and not really paying attention. If you're mowing the lawn, or fishing, or golfing, stick one of these feather-lite pylons in your mouth and puff away. But if you're hoping to sit, relax, and enjoy the pleasure of a great cigar that hardly cost you anything, don't bother. With this one, you're only getting what you pay for.