New tastings

Hoyo 2nds robusto maduro:
A cigar-chugging buddy of mine asked me if I'd had any good cigars lately. I told him the last one I had was a 3-dollar cheapie: I've got a dog to feed and two kids to put through college, so unlike some better-apportioned dudes I can't spring 12 bucks every time I wander into a cigar emporium.

So, low on funds yet again, I stooped to the bargain bin and picked out a Hoyo 2nd. It was small deep-brown robusto - about 4.5 inches long. The shop owner assured me that though it was cheap, it was tasty. The best value in the store, in fact. I trust this guy because he's 6-feet-4, bald and looks like he could wrestle an 800 pound gorilla to the ground. I was pumped. I lit the Hoyo and lo and behold was presented with a strong, flinty dark-woodsy taste. Full of body and flavor, and yes great for the price. It turned bitter in the last third, but what do you expect for 3 bucks?

Cigars International is selling them for 25 bucks a box, I think. Now there's a bargain, if you're a fiend who can't smoke the highfalutin stuff every time.

Rocky Patel Sun Grown petite corona:
This one started out hot and nondescript. Had me worried for the first inch. Then it settled into the flaky-pastry, fresh-from-the-oven chewy richness you would expect from a Rocky. Got better and better as the cigar burned down. The last inch was even good. The only complaint I would have is that it's just too small. But I knew that when I bought it. Now if someone could create a petite corona that tasted great from the first puff...

Oliva Series G special G:
Passed this one to my wife on the first decent spring day out on our deck. Still I manged to sneak a few puffs. It was the last one in my humidor, and I won't buy them again. Tends too much toward the hot and bitter, with only 10 minutes of a sweet spot in the middle. Small perfectos are hard to get right. Even the Fuente Hemingway short stories are far overrated. The best bet for a short bulbo is still the Rocky Patel 92 mini perfecto. And even that is a far cry from stogie paradise.

Lovo Perfecto:
Not sure what's inside this, but it had a brown wrapper. Probably corojo, about 4.5 inches long, bulbous mini-perfecto shape a la Hemingway short story. This cigar had the strangest burn I've ever witnessed: After lighting the small tapered bulb, a little island of fire appeared about a centimeter up the wrapper. Like a rusted-out hole in a muffler. I was afraid the whole thing would fall apart like some aborted Apollo Space mission.

After a minute of frantic puffing, I got the fire island to be subsumed by the rest of the burn coming up behind it. The cigar then settled down and tasted serviceable, flinty, strong but not full. It had barely a hint of sweetness that never quite materialized. It was a somewhat flat experience overall. Rolled by Edga Lovo Ramaz. Her dark-wrapped cigars are better, in my opinion.

Again, I think the mini-perfecto shape is an inredible challenge to roll right, and I haven't smoked one that ever tasted fulfilling. Lovo's was on a par with the others, including Fuente. Except for the freakish burn, which was actually somewhat thrilling, because I actually thought the cigar might explode in my face.

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Final Verdict on Series G Special G

After having smoked three Oliva G "Special Gs" (naturals) during the past few weeks, I can honestly say I need to find a different small cigar to get me through the winter.

First of all, consider the ridiculous motions I put myself through just to smoke a cigar in the winter. First, I have to time it when the kids are gone for at least an hour so I can smoke the thing, change my clothes, shower and brush my teeth, thus projecting the parental talking point that that SMOKING IS BAD and you should NEVER DO IT. Second, I do it on the back porch where neighbors can't gawk and chide me for my poor role modeling to other kids in the neighborhood. Third, when I smoke in sub 40-degree weather, I have to run inside every ten minutes to warm up my hands and feet.

So no, I'm not going to subject myself to this 3-ring circus for the duration of a toro or even robusto-sized cigar. Even the smallest corona I've smoked, the tantalizing CAO Italia Novella, lasted a hearty 35 minutes. I need something even smaller, but not a Swisher or White Owl or other short-filled slummer that's been fossilizing behind a drug store counter since Bill Clinton left office.

The special G is a cute cigar that caught my eye because of its super-shortness (3.75 inches), thick ring gauge (up to nearly 50 in the mid-point), and sibling status with the G Cameroon robusto, one of my favorite cigars.

The Special G, unfortunately, can't quite walk in its big brother's shoes. It lights easily but but burns dry and hot for the first few minutes. Finally it settles down and smokes excellently for the next 10 or 12 minutes, achieving a near semblance of its big brother's rich, sweet and tangy flavor. Then it gets harsh and dry again, long before it should, i.e. at least half an inch before acceptable nub territory. All in all, 2 inches of decent smoking but nothing to rave to grandpa about.

The Special G might be my first choice for a winter cigar if it were priced at $1 per stick. But it isn't. Even if you buy a 48-piece box of these things, they'll still run you about $2.30 per stick.

I'm gonna have to run to my local cigar shop and seek out some small cigars in the 3-4 inch long range. Maybe even in cigarillo ring size. Call me a wimp, but now that the cold weather's here, I can't meet the demands of a big cigar. All my succulent 50-ring bombers are going to have to sleep in my humidor for the next few months. It hurts to even look at them.

But the Special G is not the solution.

Close, But No Cigar

In my ongoing quest to find the smallest possible cigar to smoke in the ass-freezing months ahead, while maintaining a semblance of fullness and flavor, I again sampled one of my Oliva Series G Special Gs (cameroon wrapped, not maduro).

Actually I'd been holding them in reserve until the winter blast actually arrived and I'd be in dire need of a 20-minute smoke. Instead my wife came home yesterday, in the middle of this Indian Summer (Native American Summer?) we've been having, and we had an argument involving weight goals and sex appeal, and she demanded something quick to smoke "to keep me from pigging out and turning into a blimp."

So I gave her a "special G," she took three puffs, then darted off to her next appointment. I had no choice but to finish it.

The sad truth about these little ladybugs is, they burn a little dry, at least for the first third. I had to grab a hasty beer. The second inch, however, was fabulous - great volumes of smoke, tangy and tasty just like its bigger brother, the Cameroon robusto. Then the last inch gradually petered out into bitter heat, and I let it go out without smoking it to the nub like a fiend, which I normally do with any cigar that will allow it.

So the verdict is: Maybe this is the best you can expect from a 3.8 inch long cigar. I haven't tried any other brands this short, so I'd hate to say the "special G" doesn't deliver. That 10-minute burst of well-balanced flavor in the middle is as good as any I've experienced with a full-sized cigar, and maybe that's the most you can hope for in a shorty.

I was recently tempted to buy a special offer of 40 5-Vegas "shorties," in fact, but ultimately declined, because I couldn't take the risk of being stuck with 40 cigars I've never tried before and which might taste like crap. If anybody's smoked a 5-Vegas shorty, I'd be curious to know if you liked it.

20-Minute Smoke: Oliva Series G "Special G"

Now that the weather's turning cold, the challenge will soon become: How to smoke a cigar without freezing your ass off.

So, in anticipation of the coming months , I whipped out one of the smaller premiums on the market - the Oliva Series G "Special G" which is only 3.75 inches long and is shaped backasswards so you light the fatter end and smoke it down towards a narrower head.

I had exactly 20 minutes before the restaurant opened. Sally and I sat on a bench outside and I lit up the Oliva. Unfortunately, I was smoking on an empty stomach, but at least I had a beer to sip on from the bar next door.

First impressions: This little mite drew and burned well for such a teeny tyke, and produced ample amounts of smoke. But because of my empty stomach, I couldn't tell if the taste was as good as the highly rated series G robusto. It seemed as if it might be.

I'll have to try again under ideal conditions: After eating, and with a beer in one hand, and no other people milling around giving me the evil eye for smoking a cigar outside their favorite restaurant.