5-Vegas Classic Revisited: What Was I Thinking?

Several months ago I wrote a positively ecstatic review about the supposedly sublime quality of the lowly 5-Vegas Classic (torpedo size).

I must have been out of my f@#$ing mind. A retraction is in order.

I have smoked several of these in the months since, and can only say that I was sadly mistaken. The 5-Vegas Classic torpedo is an underflavored, boring cigar not unlike dozens of other dull, medium-bodied, brown-shaded Sumatra-wrapped bombers. Not that there's anything wrong with Sumatra: When Sumatra is good, it's great. But when it's bad, it's yucky pucker-your-lips, lemon grass bad.

I keep castigating myself for being duped by that first 5-Vegas torpedo. How could it have fooled me? How could it have tasted so good? I remember that day clearly: I was not inebriated or emotionally agitated. I was perfectly relaxed in mind and body. Yet still I was duped.

Even the way I described its appearance was off-base: I perceived it as being dark in color, and gorgeously toothy in texture. It's not: It's a light-brown, smooth-textured cigar, with nothing especially appealing about its appearance or odor. I should know, because I've still got five of these sludge poles taking up space in my humidor. After that first one, given to me by a friend, I went out and bid up 10 more on cigarbid. Lucky me! At least I won them for only 14 bucks total. I may be a fool, but I'm a cheap one.

My only explanation is that the first 5-Vegas torpedo I smoked must have been the last of an earlier blend. Maybe it really did have a darker wrapper. Maybe it really was a supremely superior blend to the one that's out there now. Maybe I had smoked the last of a dying breed.

Or maybe that first one wasn't even a 5-Vegas classic. Yeah, that's it! Maybe it was some other cigar altogether. Maybe it was mislabeled, an imposter. Maybe the guy who gave it to me had accidentally switched it with another, better cigar, and slipped the 5-Vegas band back on in a drug-induced trance.

And maybe my father is the King of Siam.

I stand in shame. Here's the embarrassing review again, if you want to read it for a laugh.

Hitting the Jackpot: 5 Vegas Classic Torpedo

Note: The deliriously misguided review below has since been retracted. I leave it here only so that you can see what delusions a man will suffer when he hasn't smoked a cigar for two weeks. Read at your own peril...

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What a wonderful thing it is to be surprised by a high-performing inexpensive cigar!

Several months ago, someone gave me two 5 Vegas cigars - one "classic" torpedo from the bottom shelf, and one "Limitada 06" from the top shelf. Thinking the 06 would certainly be the better of the two, I smoked it a few months ago and found it satisfying but not eye-popping.

Then yesterday, encountering beautiful weather for the first time in weeks, I almost took out one of my super-expensive "saving for the right moment" cigars to smoke out on my deck. Unfortunately there was quite a breeze blowing, which can really notch down the experience of a cigar, no matter how high its caliber. So I opted instead for a cheaper cigar. This time, the 5 Vegas "classic" torpedo.

The 5 Vegas line seems to be the victim of a certain amount of disdain among cigar snobs. I haven't seen a magazine review of one in the 17-plus months that I've been a cigarhead, and bloggers seem relatively unmoved. However, based on my experience last night, I urge all of you to go out and buy a five-pack or at least a single 5 Vegas classic torpedo. This thing is incredible for the price, and can easily hold its own with cigars twice as expensive.

To start off, the 5-V torpedo was constructed excellently, with an oily, firm, deep brown sumatra wrapper that gave way just a little upon a squeeze. The band slid right off and, looking at this thing naked, I could have sworn it was a 15-dollar cigar (not me naked, the cigar).

Upon lighting, the smoke was immediately cool, powdery, billowy, and full. The flavor had a mixture of earth, wood and cedary sweetness that are hard to come by in any cigar, much less a lower-shelf one. Touches of coffee, cereal, maple and mineral were also in evidence, i.e. the whole shebang. Although the flavor didn't "develop" midway like a Rocky or a Camacho, it was perfectly balanced from the start, and maintained that balance until the last inch.

What an undervalued, underappreciated cigar! If my humidor wasn't already stuffed to the gills, I'd order a box of these or bid up a few 5-packs at cigarbid.com.

I can't speak for any other sizes in the 5 Vegas classic line, but the torpedo is a winner.

Note: The one I smoked had five months of nap time in my humidor. So you might want to put yours to bed for a while before lighting 'er up. A bit of beauty sleep makes any cigar more refreshing.