Several months ago I wrote a positively ecstatic review about the supposedly sublime quality of the lowly 5-Vegas Classic (torpedo size).
I must have been out of my f@#$ing mind. A retraction is in order.
I have smoked several of these in the months since, and can only say that I was sadly mistaken. The 5-Vegas Classic torpedo is an underflavored, boring cigar not unlike dozens of other dull, medium-bodied, brown-shaded Sumatra-wrapped bombers. Not that there's anything wrong with Sumatra: When Sumatra is good, it's great. But when it's bad, it's yucky pucker-your-lips, lemon grass bad.
I keep castigating myself for being duped by that first 5-Vegas torpedo. How could it have fooled me? How could it have tasted so good? I remember that day clearly: I was not inebriated or emotionally agitated. I was perfectly relaxed in mind and body. Yet still I was duped.
Even the way I described its appearance was off-base: I perceived it as being dark in color, and gorgeously toothy in texture. It's not: It's a light-brown, smooth-textured cigar, with nothing especially appealing about its appearance or odor. I should know, because I've still got five of these sludge poles taking up space in my humidor. After that first one, given to me by a friend, I went out and bid up 10 more on cigarbid. Lucky me! At least I won them for only 14 bucks total. I may be a fool, but I'm a cheap one.
My only explanation is that the first 5-Vegas torpedo I smoked must have been the last of an earlier blend. Maybe it really did have a darker wrapper. Maybe it really was a supremely superior blend to the one that's out there now. Maybe I had smoked the last of a dying breed.
Or maybe that first one wasn't even a 5-Vegas classic. Yeah, that's it! Maybe it was some other cigar altogether. Maybe it was mislabeled, an imposter. Maybe the guy who gave it to me had accidentally switched it with another, better cigar, and slipped the 5-Vegas band back on in a drug-induced trance.
And maybe my father is the King of Siam.
I stand in shame. Here's the embarrassing review again, if you want to read it for a laugh.
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2 comments:
The first set of 5 Vegas Classic Torpedos you probably smoked were excellent - I had the same batch and was estatic about the taste. I have recently ordered some more and I have to agree with you, the newer lines are not nearly as good as past years.
I smoked my first one last night (torpedo) expecting a great cigar. After all, I'd heard and read only good things. I was dissapointed from the draw to the flavor (or lack thereof). I'm hoping he rest of the ones I bought will season in my humidor...or I'll give hem to buddies who wanta smoke!
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