It's the Great Pumpkin, Rocky Patel!

As we approach Halloween, there's no question as to which cigar I want to smoke in commemoration of the spirit world which both fascinates and frightens us. I want something that glows. Something bold and striking. Something spicy and warm and full-bodied that will get me through a night of hoot owls, skeleton suits and scary little girls dressed up like Britney Spears. Most of all, I want something that tastes like warm pumpkin pie straight out of grandma's oven, with a little nutmeg and whipped cream on top: I want a Rocky Patel Vintage 92 Seconds torpedo.

Yes, you heard me right: 1) a 2nd, not a first and 2) one redolent of pumpkin pie. Not the store-bought Sarah Lee variety, mind you, but something hand-made with love and care from a recipe handed down through the ages. Something made not just with ingredients, but magic.

This RP 92 second has a bewitching flavor all its own, with a hint of caramel and Indian tea spices underneath, that gets more powerful as the cigar burns down. The burn, by the way, is incredible: The first time I smoked one, it lasted an hour and a half, with ever-increasing power and spice, never turning bitter or overpowering even to the lip-searing nub. Afterward, I found myself wishing I had 15 more. But I only had three, having foolishly divided the bundle weeks earlier with my work-mates.

The next time I smoked one, it lasted even longer, and I wished I had 30 more: Same rich, warm, deep and complex flavor, same perfect burn and draw. The third time I smoked one? Sadly, there was no third time. My third RP 2nd was untimely ripped from my hands by a thoughtless man named Brad.

Back to the review: If these righteous sticks are "seconds," I'm wondering what exactly are the "firsts" that they've been culled from, because I've never had a regular RP Vintage that looked or tasted like these. It makes me wonder if the "vintage seconds" name is a marketing ruse, and it's really a full-fledged blend of its own that Rocky sells for cheaper than his Vintage lines. Whatever the case, the result is a winner.

On my second go-round with this cigar, I was halfway through when my wife dragged me inside the house to watch a TV show. I compromised by leaving the cigar on the deck and stealing out for a few puffs during commercials. Surprisingly, no re-lighting was required: Even after being gone for as long as 9 minutes, it only took a puff or two to get this thing blazing away again. And the flavor was even better because of the long, cool burn between draws. Unbelievable. I darted back and forth for the next 45 minutes, hardly missing any of the TV show or the cigar. When the show was over, I went back out and homed in on the last 2 inches of this incredible pleasure bomb. All told, this magnificent "reject" burned for 2 hours and 15 minutes, with no lapse in flavor, draw, or burn. It probably would have burned for 3 hours if I'd smoked it through another TV show.

So the heck with the "real" Rocky Patel Vintage lines at 10 bucks a pop. Just give me these 3-dollar Vintage "seconds." I wish I had 60 more of them. No, make that 600.