Sooner or later, every cigar smoker is confronted with the unsettling realization that the cigar you happen to be smoking is a boring crapstick, and that no matter how long you keep smoking it to "give it a chance," it just isn't going to get any better.
Case in point: The Excaliber Epicure (natural) by Hoyo. This noble-sounding cigar came to me in an introductory sampler pack from Famous, and I'd been looking forward to trying it for weeks. Finally, it seemed like the right day. The cigar looked and felt right, and the label matched my own mood: A knight errant in search of a good smoke.
Right away, I was worried. When I lit this thing, it seemed to burn faster in the core than on the outside wrapper. And the taste was hot and dusty. The burn quickly corrected itself, and the taste mellowed. Or, rather, dropped precipitously to a low-grade peppery, wallpapery smorgasboard.
This vaguely unsatisfying flavor continued with remarkable consistency through the first and second inch. The draw softened and got warmer towards the middle, yet still no change in the flavor characteristic. By the halfway mark the burn was jagged and the draw was too hot - still with the same placid flavor - so I let it go out.
Don't get me wrong: This is not a bad cigar. Just dull. Certainly not nearly as rotten as the Macanudo Hyde Park robusto I tried a few weeks ago. If you happen to love Mac Hyde Park, or CAO gold, or Montecristo White, the Excaliber natural is right up your alley. But this isn't my alley, or even my neighborhood. I'm about ready to go out and fire up an Indian, or an Oliva Series G, or a Gurkha Regent.
The blurb at Famous called the Excaliber/natural "a favorite among golfers," which makes sense: If you want an innocuous background cigar that won't divert you from your game and your power-mongering chit-chat, this is the one to choose. Maybe it's just too much Connecticut - a Connecticut wrapper AND a Connecticut binder, whatever the heck that means. Pretty soon I'll be turning into one of those cigarheads who can elaborate on the insides of a cigar, the names of all the tobaccos, their country of origin and the GPS coordinates that mark the fields they're grown in.
Until then, I'll avoid anything with two Connecticuts, and keep up the quest for the Holy Grail: The cigar that makes me want to try no other. Sorry, Excaliber. You ain't it.
Note: Must try Excaliber Maduro version. It got a 92 rating a few months ago in Aficionado. Could the magnificent lucky aesthetes be wrong? Hard to believe.
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